


I Like You, But That's Not Enough

by Ace_of_All_Trades



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Choking, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 14:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19929508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ace_of_All_Trades/pseuds/Ace_of_All_Trades
Summary: It could have been a normal night.It could have been a normal night if Patton hadn't gotten hit with a serious case of Hanahaki Disease. If he hadn't decided that the best solution to this would be to simply avoid the others.





	I Like You, But That's Not Enough

It could have been a normal night.

It could have been a normal night where everyone gathered together in the living room for a movie night, with Roman and Patton taking up most of the couch by themselves as Virgil sat on the floor below them and Logan in the chair beside.

It could have been a normal night if Roman hadn’t leaned up against Patton and rested his head against Patton’s shoulder. If Virgil hadn’t relaxed his back against Patton’s legs. If Logan hadn’t reached out and rested an arm against the arm of the couch.

It could have been a normal night if Patton had focused on the movie, rather than look around at all the others. If he hadn’t suddenly started coughing.

Logan looked over from his seat at Patton when the coughing started. “Patton, are you alright?” he asked. Patton nodded, even though he was starting to get the feeling he wasn’t actually okay. He got up from where he was sitting, still coughing, and walked as quickly as he could to the bathroom, ignoring the three pairs of eyes that were following him.

Patton collapsed in front of the toilet, coughing up what had been stuck in his throat. He froze when he looked down and saw the white petals floating on the water’s surface. “No,” he whispered, voice hoarse, backing away from the toilet. “No,” he repeated, louder that time.

Patton jumped when he heard knocking on the bathroom door. “Patton?” he heard Roman asking. “Are you alright in there?”

“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” Patton lied, both in regards to his physical well-being and now also emotional pain. “I think I’ll be skipping out on the rest of movie night though. You guys can finish the movie without me.”

“Oh, are you sure you’re alright then? You do sound fairly ill.”

“It’s alright,” Patton said as he stood up, leaning against the wall for support. “I just need a bit of time.” He grinned ironically at that.  _ Time. Like that’s gonna help me now. _

Patton heard Roman sighing. “If you’re certain. I’ll tell the other two.” 

Patton waited a moment after he heard Roman walk away from the door before flushing the petals down the toilet and heading up to his room. 

As soon as Patton closed the door to his room, another coughing fit hit. He quickly locked the door behind him, collapsing on the floor before even being able to make it to a trash bin. Patton kept coughing until more petals emerged from his throat. Patton stared down at the spots of pink and white now laying on his carpet, panting as he recovered from the coughing.

He stood up weakly, staggering over to his bed before curling up into a ball under the blankets.  _ How am I supposed to face the others now? _

He wouldn’t, he decided, but he also knew he wouldn’t treat the disease, no matter what he had to lose. He’d lose so much more without it. 

This mentality led to “a bit of time” for Patton becoming hours alone in his room. Then days, and then, slowly weeks. Weeks of sitting in his bed, energy drained from constant coughing as he faded in and out of consciousness, being violently dragged out of his half-sleep to cough out more of the small petals, and sometimes, flower blossoms.

Patton stared down at one of the red blossoms in his hand, the blood staining the petals barely noticeable against the dark color of the flower. He had since figured out what the flower was. Asters, a flower symbolic of love and patience.  _ How fitting _ , Patton had thought when he learned about the flower. Not that Patton actually thought his patience would get him anywhere, it wasn’t as though he could force love to happen, and none of the others knew anyway. Sometimes one of them would knock to check on him, and occasionally try to open the locked door, but Patton never said anything. He’d just cover up the coughing that always arrived without fail until they went away.

Patton sighed as he dropped the aster from his hand, humming along quietly to the song he was playing. “ _ How are your lungs? Are they in pain? Cause mine are aching, think I know why. _ ” Patton grinned a little as he listened to the song, before feeling more of the blossoms rising up in his throat. He couldn’t help but marvel at how much his thoughts over this particular song changed now that he was stuck in here, too afraid and too exhausted to face the others. 

Patton coughed loudly as he finally got the flowers currently trapped in his throat out and onto his bed in front of him, staring blankly at the pink, white, and red flowers stained with his blood, breath heaving from the effort to get the flowers out of his throat. Patton leaned back against the wall, raising a weak arm to wipe away some remaining petals from his mouth, coughing weakly as he faded back into semi-consciousness. Patton would never admit it, not even to himself, but he was getting tired. He was getting so tired.

After another few weeks, Patton’s energy had drained so much that his eyes barely fluttered open at the sound of his door being broken open. He barely even reacted when three pairs of shocked eyes stared at him and the bloody flowers surrounding him before their owners rushed over to Patton.

“Patton, why didn’t you tell us?” Roman cupped Patton’s cheek in his hand. Patton stared at him for a moment before slowly pulling his gaze over to the other two, taking in Logan’s narrowed eyes as he searched for Patton’s weak pulse and Virgil’s hands running through his own hair, clearly freaking out.

Patton closed his eyes as more coughing hit, although at this point he didn’t have enough energy to cough up the flowers. “There wouldn’t be any use,” Patton wheezed between coughs. “You can’t force love.”

“His pulse is weak,” Logan said, pulling his hand from where he had it against Patton’s neck. “He’ll need to go to the hospital as soon as possible.” Logan went to stand up, but Patton quickly reached out, holding onto his arm.

“No,” Patton whispered, shaking his head. “There’s no point.” Patton knew what to expect at this point. He could barely breath anymore, and most of his breath was wasted trying in vain to get rid of the flowers choking him from the inside. 

Patton blinked away the tears he didn’t realize were in his eyes, letting his gaze wander across the faces of the three surrounding him, the light voice he knew well by now singing in the background. “ _ Do me a favor, can your heart rate rise a little? Do me a favor. _ ”

It could have been a normal night.

It could have been a normal night if the other three Sides didn’t watch as the once cheerful Side lay hopelessly against the wall. If the light in his eyes didn’t slowly fade as the vines around his lungs finally drained all of the life from him. If Virgil hadn’t collapsed to his knees when Patton stopped breathing, screaming with pain. If Roman hadn’t punched the wall as tears poured from his eyes. If Logan’s breath hadn’t shook as he closed his eyes to keep his own tears from falling.

After that day, the three Sides were much more quiet than usual, and if anyone asked about the vase of white, pink, and red asters that were always resting on the kitchen table, Virgil would greet them with nothing but silence. Roman would explain the flower’s symbolism of love and patience and tell them of how white asters represent innocence and purity, how pink asters represent sensitivity and love, how red asters represent undying devotion. Logan would tell them, “The meaning of the aster flower differs depending on the presentation, but it’s common meanings are patience, love of variety, elegance, daintiness and afterthought; the wish that things happened differently.”


End file.
